It's a girl!

Announcing the arrival of Hosanna Marie!

December 10, 1:42 am
8 lbs. 12 oz.
19 1/2 inches long

Pics to come, I promise. :-)

The Good Intentions Post

Well, I've been meaning to blog. I just haven't. The baby is not here and I haven't felt like doing anything. I meant to post pictures of all the snow - we got over 8 inches last weekend and more last night. I meant to post about my lovely birthday, complete with pictures. I meant to post a cute picture of Ruby wearing Kordell's snowpants and looking very much like an oompa-loompa.

I just haven't yet.

So, excuse the very pregnant woman and her good intentions. I will give you something to look at one of these days. Hopefully it will be a baby. I am due tomorrow.

Incoming!

Well, now would be just the time for the baby to come. There's a huge snowstorm blowing in and the weather outside is certainly frightful!! Nothing is happening with the baby just yet, but babies have a tendency to have terrible timing, so maybe... For now, we will hunker down inside and wait.

And while you wait for news from us, here is a picture to enjoy. Taken yesterday, 39 weeks 1 day. The baby spent all day yesterday trying to push its butt out my bellybutton and wedging its feet in my ribcage for leverage. Very comfortable... uh huh.... any day now baby!!!!

Another False Alarm

Well, I thought for sure last night was THE night. I started having contractions 10 minutes apart, over a minute long. They persisted no matter what I did. I even called my midwife to say this might be it. She said if I couldn't sleep to call back. Well, I finally fell asleep at midnight and when I got up at 1:30 they were gone.

WAH! I just wanna be done with all this! I want to have this baby, like NOW.

Nothing to Report

I know, I know... I should be updating more often this close to the end. But nothing is happening. I've had random contractions, but nothing organized at all. As of last Tuesday at the MW, I was 2 cm & 50% effaced. It's just a matter of time, she says.

So we wait. And while we wait, a new picture from last week. Taken on Thanksgiving, 38 weeks exactly.

And here are my cute kids with Grandma Jacquie, also on Thanksgiving. It's been such a help having Grandma here the last few weeks!

Whole Lotta Nuthin'

So, Thursday evening I started having a few contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart, but I didn't think much of it. I figured they would go away when I went to bed.

But they didn't.

All night long they came, 10 -12 minutes apart. Friday they continued, got a little stronger, a little longer. I spent the day resting, wondering if this was the beginning of labor. I even took a bath and they didn't go away. (Baths are supposed to make them go away if it's false labor) By evening we were down to 6-7 minutes apart. Teagan & I had planned to go out on a date and decided to go anyway since the contractions still weren't that bad. I figured walking around Walmart getting our groceries would speed them up if this was it.

Well, wouldn't you know it, they stopped altogether while I waddled around Wally-world. What is up with that!? So, no baby yet. And no more contractions for the time being either. Which is okay because it's the opening day of the gun deer season and Teagan is in da woods.

In the Clear

I am 37 weeks today. We are officially clear for homebirth. All that worry about not making it, and here we are. And nothing is happening.

I'm not suprised.

I'm still hoping for an early baby, but not holding my breath. I heard a quote last night that sums up my feelings well. "Fortune is apt to act freakishly at all times." Not that I believe in fortune, but it just said to me, yup - life is full of great ironies. And one of those may be a late baby again... despite pre-term labor.

Under the Weather

We seem to have a bit of a virus running amuck around here. I was sick last night. I had a bad tummy ache and it was causing contractions. So I called my midwife. We are SO close to being okay for the homebirth, but not quite there, so she said to take some blackhaw to calm things down. But that's probably the last time I will take it. Today & tomorrow are "on the fence" days, but we are clear to go as of Wednesday. :-D

Anyway, Jade is sick this morning with the same thing - no contractions for her though. LOL I know she doesn't feel good when she spends the day laying on the couch. On the other hand, it has been nice and quiet here today. We are praying that no one else gets sick. We need this bug cleared out before the baby comes.

And, just because I'm feeling generous, I'm throwing in a picture from last week. Taken at 36 weeks exactly. And a super cute picture of Ruby giving the baby some love...

Dodged a Bullet!

My midwife, Jane, came out for our 36 week homevisit this morning. It went well. She said my birth kit looked good & well organized. Imagine, me being organized! LOL Everything looks great with the baby. Good strong heartbeat, and I measured at 38 cm, so just a little bigger than "normal". We discussed where the birth would be, and decided that the living room was just fine. She offered the Group B Strep test and I said okay, and that's when the trouble started. Well, not trouble so much as my pregnant brain not understanding. As it turns out, because the hospital where my medical back-up works is pressuring every positive GBS to get IV antibiotics, that rule would apply to me also. Even though I was only seen once, and even though they are only emergency backup, if that test came back positive I would HAVE TO deliver at the hospital even if I had NO risk factors. A positive = hospital birth. Once it was explained to me again, the little test tube magically disappeared. I am not going to voluntarily check myself in for any reason except emergency. So, we dodged a bullet today. Big Time.

Minus

What do you do with a child who absolutely refuses to learn something new? I've dealt with the child who just doesn't want to work, but the child who won't even learn? And is doing it on purpose? What do you do with that?

That, my friends, was the question before me this morning. Jade's math book came to learning subtraction today and she would not have anything to do with it. She insisted upon adding. Would not even attempt to minus. Screamed at the top of her lungs, "NO MINUS! ADD!" She was adding to beat the band, throwing out equations so she couldn't hear me. All the way up to 57+57=114. I think she wanted me to be so impressed with the adding that I'd forget about the subtracting. I was at my wit's end, trying to figure out how to get through to her on this.

Finally it occurred to me. She learned to add by memorizing the equations. So I wrote out every single combination from 1-0=1 to 10-10=0 on paper and made her drill them. She was more than happy to sit and read math equations. So, we shall drill. And drill and drill and drill if that's what it takes.

Nesting Begins...

Okay, now I'm really getting close. This morning I woke up determined to rearrange the living room. I was looking at the pictures from Ruby's birth last night, thinking WOW there was so much space in there back then. If only I could find a little more floor space...

So, Teagan & I (mostly him) spent the afternoon reorganizing the closet and rearranging the living room. We moved the couch twice (maybe 3 times?) and all the chairs all over the place and it still feels awkward. It's just an awkward room. I like to imagine all of my chairs & couch full of people... would they be able to talk to each other comfortably? It's better now than a few of the combinations we tried, but it still is just not right. There's really no solution though. It's just a very awkward room.

34 weeks

Here I am as of Thursday, which was 34 weeks exactly. I'm big. Yeah, there's an understatement if there ever was one. LOL


The pre-term labor seems to be controlled by the blackhaw tincture, though if I walk around too much, I get a few contractions and have to take extra. Wednesday (errand & co-op day) was a killer and Friday (Jade's OT & groceries) was hard too. But I have been trying to take it easy. Teagan has been very good about letting me go lay down & nap through the day if I need too.

And there is more help on the way! My mom, who was going to come up after Thanksgiving to be here for the birth, is coming early to help me get everything ready and help out so I can rest. She will be here on Thursday. Yay!

Pre-term Labor

Well, I may be having some pre-term labor. I'm only 33 1/2 weeks, so that's not good. I had some real contractions Saturday and Sunday. You know, the kind that start in your low belly and wrap around the back. I didn't have lots of them, but enough to make me miserable. I finally put in a call to my midwife last night and she said it was enough to be concerned about. I went in to see her today. My cervix is still closed, but soft and a little effaced, and the baby's head is "right there".

She gave me an herbal tincture called Blackhaw that is very effective in stopping PTL. I'm taking that every 4 hours. She also said I need to slow down, rest, take it easy, and NO lifting. I only need to make it 3 more weeks, so hopefully between the tincture and the rest, we will buy that much time. Of course, I could still go late but that's looking less likely.

Now I am completely panicking at the thought of having this baby in 3 weeks. I AM NOT READY!!!!! The baby clothes are still packed away. I still have to get our room cleaned out and rearranged for baby gear. I have NONE of my birth kit purchased or assembled. And don't even start on my Christmas knitting projects. Unfortunately, we are going to have to buy more than I was intending because there is just not time to do the knitting. I am trying to wrap my head around all of this. It really threw a wrench in my time table.

I Stand in Awe

We have been so blessed this week.

First, Jade has adjusted beautifully to home again. She hasn't asked for the bus or school except for one time when she was mad at me. When it's time for school work, she sits down with Kordell and does the work I ask her to do. My biggest problem is getting her to write on the lines on the paper instead of all willy-nilly across it. Imagine that being my biggest problem. I am absolutely amazed!

Second, an online friend who I have never met in real life blessed us with the money we needed to surrender the cats to the Humane Society. $75 is a ton of money for us right now, and to be blessed in that way was so amazing. The kittens will be surrendered tomorrow. I am praying that we will be able to find/catch/corral Mama Kitty in the morning... she hasn't been around as much lately and is very grumpy.

Third, we got a dishwasher! At last, modern convenience comes to our house. LOL My dad & stepmom had a portable for years, but when they moved this summer the new house had a built-in. So they gave us their portable. We finally got possession of it last Saturday. What a blessing to get a dishwasher at the end of my pregnancy!! Now I will be able to keep up with the kitchen despite feeling terrible.

Fourth, my son can be taught!!! Kordell has been so very helpful the last week with very little attitude. This is a major miracle for my "stubborn buffalo" child. ;-)

Overall, we have been so totally blessed by the Lord lately. Even though we feel tired and sore and sometimes discouraged, God is providing all of these encouragements for us. Blessed be the Lord God Almighty!

Bittersweet Blessings

Yesterday was Jade's last day at school. To call it bittersweet would be an understatement. We've been waiting for this day for a long time. It was a great feeling to know that we were done with busses and lunchboxes. Done with not knowing what her education looks like. That part was very good.

But the actual seperation was very difficult. I went to school during last recess to talk to the teacher and gather her things. When everyone came in, it was time to say good-bye. I started to get a little choked up when she hugged her teacher and all her friends. They all love her so much. I almost totally lost it when she hugged Miss Mindy. Miss Mindy has been her faithful aide for 2 years and they are so good together. Mindy was having a terrible time with it and I heard her sobbing as she left the classroom. I held it together until we got to the truck, then had a little breakdown of my own.

Jade did well. I wasn't sure if she understood what was going on. She said good-bye like she'd see everyone again tomorrow. But she was quiet on the drive home, unusual for her. We had been prepping her at home, reading a social story about saying good-bye and having school at home. But you can never be sure what she understands.

I was prepared for a battle this morning. I was quite sure she would get up at the usual 6:30 and we would have screaming for the next 2 hours or so. But it didn't happen. She slept in until 7:30, got up, had her Crispix, and never said anything about school or the bus. We wrote a letter to her friends at school and read some Bible verses during school time then she went out to play. It has been a calm and blessed morning. Praise the Lord!

The good news from her teacher yesterday... Jade is at a 2nd grade level in reading & math. She reads phonetically too. Woo-hoo! Now I'm just praying for the creativity that she is going to need to stay focused.

It's not about me

I had one of those "Ah-ha" moments last night. You know, those moments when something you already thought you knew comes crashing to the surface again.

Yesterday was busy. I had co-op, ran errands, threw dinner on the table, and ran off to Bible study. It was the first night of a new study, Beth Moore's "Daniel". The first session focused on Babylon and how it relates to today's Western culture. Both are self-absorbed and sinful. The "Babylon Motto" as Beth calls it is found in Isaiah 47:10 "I am and there is none besides me." I sat through the video thinking about how well our family has done throwing off the cloak of culture and trying to live the way God intended.

Then I got home. I was tired. The last 2 days had been brutal. All I wanted was to check my e-mail and crawl in bed. But Ruby wouldn't go to bed. This is not unusual, most nights it takes her an hour to settle down. But this time was different. Instead of the usual defiant "pop-up" routine, she just stood in her doorway and cried pitifully for mama. She hadn't seen me all day. Instead of coming to co-op, she stayed home because she has a little cold. Then I came home and left again without spending any time with her. She just didn't feel good and she needed me.

Though the self wanted to ignore the crying and go to bed, I couldn't do it. I spent about half an hour rocking her to sleep like I used to do. What a blessing that time was. Praise God for gently reminding me that it's not about me, that I still have selfishness in my own heart to deal with. He could have chosen a harsher treatment but instead used my soft, sleepy, sweet little girl.

8 weeks

I ONLY HAVE 8 WEEKS LEFT IN THIS PREGNANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um... Yikes.

Well, at least I got to cross 3 more things off my "Before Baby" Master List today. Today was divide and conquer laundry mountain day. I got behind on my laundry folding back in the middle of the summer, shortly after my surgery. Since then, I've managed to keep up with the laundry... all except the 6-7 baskets sitting in the back room waiting to be folded. But today I had help. In exchange for sewing lessons for her daughter, a good friend came over and folded my laundry backlog. Praise the LORD!!!

As a result of having all the clothes in the house clean, I also had to sort everyone's clothes for the upcoming season, move my dresser to the girl's room so that Ruby & the baby can share it, and move shelves into my closet to hold my clothes. I also sorted all of my clothes into maternity/regular and winter/summer.

After only 9 hours of work (plus making dinner), I have conquered the clothing.

Now I can knit for the next 8 weeks. I told my midwife today that I really needed to be on bedrest so I could get all my Christmas knitting done. She laughed, but couldn't come up with any good reason for that, so I'll have to squeeze it in with everything else. I think I only have 9-10 projects that have to be completed by baby time. Eek.

September in Pictures

I know everyone has been pining for some pictures, so here are a few from last month.

Well, the first one is from today, but the rest are from last month. Here I am, 31 weeks pregnant. It is blazing hot today, thus the tank top and ponytail. I wish it would just be fall already!

Here are Kordell & Ruby working hard at school. Kordell is making a Sumerian cuneiform tablet out of clay and Ruby, well, I think she might hurt me if I try to take her pen away.

Here is Teagan's birthday party. Kordell's cuneiform was a birthday card for Dad, so here they are with the finished work. Unfortunately, it cracked right down the middle when it dried and couldn't be saved. Glad I took a picture. Teagan also got socks for his birthday...they were only 2 weeks late. See them on my other blog. :-)

And here is Ruby with her baby doll, practicing to be a big sister.

Opposition

I knew that it would come sooner or later.

I shared the news about Jade at our autism support group meeting this week. Jade's former & current Speech & Language Pathologist's are all a part of the group. While they kept saying that they supported my decision, they also kept trying to convince me to change my mind. "what about half-days?" they said. "What about just changing the IEP to make things easier on her?" What about this, what about that...

I did my best to describe why we made our decision. There were parts of it they just didn't get. Like the part where I said that our family held to certain standards of behavior and the things she brought home from school didn't fit that. My 6 year old now swears and tells everyone to shutup. She didn't learn that here. And the concept that our family life was more important than what she learns at school. These are women who put in 8-10 hours at work every day... I guess the idea of a functional family life was a bit lost on them. Which is horribly sad.

I guess out of the whole thing, I am just praising God for giving me the backbone to stand up for myself and the grace to not ruin any friendships in the process.

It's Official

Well, the letter to the school is signed and tucked in Jade's backpack. All the paperwork has been filed with the state. Her last day at school will be October 11.

Writing letters to the teacher and aide was a horribly hard thing to do. Gut-wrenching even. These ladies love Jade and they really are great with her. Let me tell you, self-doubt was tearing me up today. Jade got off the bus with this huge smile and was just plain pleasant all evening. I kept saying in my head, "Am I doing the right thing? She seems okay. Was I wrong?" My husband reminded me that our battle is not with flesh & blood, but with principalities and powers. The enemy of our souls does not want us to do what God wants. He will use the tool of doubt if he thinks it will work. And it nearly did.

But it's too late now. The deed is official and almost done. In 10 days, she'll be home again.