Do you ever feel like your life is a snowglobe? You know what I mean. Those little glass bubbles with the fake snow that settles gently to the bottom until someone shakes it up and makes everything start swirling again. My life is most definitely a snowglobe. Just when the little flakes start to settle someone picks it up and shakes the living daylights out of it.
First, I lost my midwife. I thought I would just call up DJ and make an appointment and we'd be good to go. But Wisconsin just passed a law requiring certification for midwives, and DJ isn't certified yet. She will be certified by October-November, but that's a bit late for a early December due date. So, I had to call all over trying to find someone. I found a midwife in Appleton and made an appointment. I got her packet of information today. She is much more medical than DJ, and her fee is $2500... $1800 if you pay in cash before 36 weeks. So, we have to come up with that money somehow. I thought for like a millisecond about just going to the hospital. After all, it's free through MA. But no, I am not going to birth like that. I am still feeling unsettled about the whole matter...that fear of the unknown thing. I am praying for peace about my decision.
Next, my husband decides to wig out. First, he's depressed, which was horrible. Then, he rebounds into a strong leadership role. His first big decision..... are you ready..... are you sure.....
Not getting a mortgage, not buying the house. Staying here, renting and waiting.
And he decides to tell me this on the very day that the final paperwork we needed for the application arrived in the mail. On a day when I also happened to be very exhausted and emotionally drained. Not good.
One minute I think I know what's going on, life is good and things are falling into place. The next minute someone is shaking the living daylights out of my snowglobe.