It's a girl!

Announcing the arrival of Hosanna Marie!

December 10, 1:42 am
8 lbs. 12 oz.
19 1/2 inches long

Pics to come, I promise. :-)

The Good Intentions Post

Well, I've been meaning to blog. I just haven't. The baby is not here and I haven't felt like doing anything. I meant to post pictures of all the snow - we got over 8 inches last weekend and more last night. I meant to post about my lovely birthday, complete with pictures. I meant to post a cute picture of Ruby wearing Kordell's snowpants and looking very much like an oompa-loompa.

I just haven't yet.

So, excuse the very pregnant woman and her good intentions. I will give you something to look at one of these days. Hopefully it will be a baby. I am due tomorrow.

Incoming!

Well, now would be just the time for the baby to come. There's a huge snowstorm blowing in and the weather outside is certainly frightful!! Nothing is happening with the baby just yet, but babies have a tendency to have terrible timing, so maybe... For now, we will hunker down inside and wait.

And while you wait for news from us, here is a picture to enjoy. Taken yesterday, 39 weeks 1 day. The baby spent all day yesterday trying to push its butt out my bellybutton and wedging its feet in my ribcage for leverage. Very comfortable... uh huh.... any day now baby!!!!

Another False Alarm

Well, I thought for sure last night was THE night. I started having contractions 10 minutes apart, over a minute long. They persisted no matter what I did. I even called my midwife to say this might be it. She said if I couldn't sleep to call back. Well, I finally fell asleep at midnight and when I got up at 1:30 they were gone.

WAH! I just wanna be done with all this! I want to have this baby, like NOW.

Nothing to Report

I know, I know... I should be updating more often this close to the end. But nothing is happening. I've had random contractions, but nothing organized at all. As of last Tuesday at the MW, I was 2 cm & 50% effaced. It's just a matter of time, she says.

So we wait. And while we wait, a new picture from last week. Taken on Thanksgiving, 38 weeks exactly.

And here are my cute kids with Grandma Jacquie, also on Thanksgiving. It's been such a help having Grandma here the last few weeks!

Whole Lotta Nuthin'

So, Thursday evening I started having a few contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart, but I didn't think much of it. I figured they would go away when I went to bed.

But they didn't.

All night long they came, 10 -12 minutes apart. Friday they continued, got a little stronger, a little longer. I spent the day resting, wondering if this was the beginning of labor. I even took a bath and they didn't go away. (Baths are supposed to make them go away if it's false labor) By evening we were down to 6-7 minutes apart. Teagan & I had planned to go out on a date and decided to go anyway since the contractions still weren't that bad. I figured walking around Walmart getting our groceries would speed them up if this was it.

Well, wouldn't you know it, they stopped altogether while I waddled around Wally-world. What is up with that!? So, no baby yet. And no more contractions for the time being either. Which is okay because it's the opening day of the gun deer season and Teagan is in da woods.

In the Clear

I am 37 weeks today. We are officially clear for homebirth. All that worry about not making it, and here we are. And nothing is happening.

I'm not suprised.

I'm still hoping for an early baby, but not holding my breath. I heard a quote last night that sums up my feelings well. "Fortune is apt to act freakishly at all times." Not that I believe in fortune, but it just said to me, yup - life is full of great ironies. And one of those may be a late baby again... despite pre-term labor.

Under the Weather

We seem to have a bit of a virus running amuck around here. I was sick last night. I had a bad tummy ache and it was causing contractions. So I called my midwife. We are SO close to being okay for the homebirth, but not quite there, so she said to take some blackhaw to calm things down. But that's probably the last time I will take it. Today & tomorrow are "on the fence" days, but we are clear to go as of Wednesday. :-D

Anyway, Jade is sick this morning with the same thing - no contractions for her though. LOL I know she doesn't feel good when she spends the day laying on the couch. On the other hand, it has been nice and quiet here today. We are praying that no one else gets sick. We need this bug cleared out before the baby comes.

And, just because I'm feeling generous, I'm throwing in a picture from last week. Taken at 36 weeks exactly. And a super cute picture of Ruby giving the baby some love...

Dodged a Bullet!

My midwife, Jane, came out for our 36 week homevisit this morning. It went well. She said my birth kit looked good & well organized. Imagine, me being organized! LOL Everything looks great with the baby. Good strong heartbeat, and I measured at 38 cm, so just a little bigger than "normal". We discussed where the birth would be, and decided that the living room was just fine. She offered the Group B Strep test and I said okay, and that's when the trouble started. Well, not trouble so much as my pregnant brain not understanding. As it turns out, because the hospital where my medical back-up works is pressuring every positive GBS to get IV antibiotics, that rule would apply to me also. Even though I was only seen once, and even though they are only emergency backup, if that test came back positive I would HAVE TO deliver at the hospital even if I had NO risk factors. A positive = hospital birth. Once it was explained to me again, the little test tube magically disappeared. I am not going to voluntarily check myself in for any reason except emergency. So, we dodged a bullet today. Big Time.

Minus

What do you do with a child who absolutely refuses to learn something new? I've dealt with the child who just doesn't want to work, but the child who won't even learn? And is doing it on purpose? What do you do with that?

That, my friends, was the question before me this morning. Jade's math book came to learning subtraction today and she would not have anything to do with it. She insisted upon adding. Would not even attempt to minus. Screamed at the top of her lungs, "NO MINUS! ADD!" She was adding to beat the band, throwing out equations so she couldn't hear me. All the way up to 57+57=114. I think she wanted me to be so impressed with the adding that I'd forget about the subtracting. I was at my wit's end, trying to figure out how to get through to her on this.

Finally it occurred to me. She learned to add by memorizing the equations. So I wrote out every single combination from 1-0=1 to 10-10=0 on paper and made her drill them. She was more than happy to sit and read math equations. So, we shall drill. And drill and drill and drill if that's what it takes.

Nesting Begins...

Okay, now I'm really getting close. This morning I woke up determined to rearrange the living room. I was looking at the pictures from Ruby's birth last night, thinking WOW there was so much space in there back then. If only I could find a little more floor space...

So, Teagan & I (mostly him) spent the afternoon reorganizing the closet and rearranging the living room. We moved the couch twice (maybe 3 times?) and all the chairs all over the place and it still feels awkward. It's just an awkward room. I like to imagine all of my chairs & couch full of people... would they be able to talk to each other comfortably? It's better now than a few of the combinations we tried, but it still is just not right. There's really no solution though. It's just a very awkward room.

34 weeks

Here I am as of Thursday, which was 34 weeks exactly. I'm big. Yeah, there's an understatement if there ever was one. LOL


The pre-term labor seems to be controlled by the blackhaw tincture, though if I walk around too much, I get a few contractions and have to take extra. Wednesday (errand & co-op day) was a killer and Friday (Jade's OT & groceries) was hard too. But I have been trying to take it easy. Teagan has been very good about letting me go lay down & nap through the day if I need too.

And there is more help on the way! My mom, who was going to come up after Thanksgiving to be here for the birth, is coming early to help me get everything ready and help out so I can rest. She will be here on Thursday. Yay!

Pre-term Labor

Well, I may be having some pre-term labor. I'm only 33 1/2 weeks, so that's not good. I had some real contractions Saturday and Sunday. You know, the kind that start in your low belly and wrap around the back. I didn't have lots of them, but enough to make me miserable. I finally put in a call to my midwife last night and she said it was enough to be concerned about. I went in to see her today. My cervix is still closed, but soft and a little effaced, and the baby's head is "right there".

She gave me an herbal tincture called Blackhaw that is very effective in stopping PTL. I'm taking that every 4 hours. She also said I need to slow down, rest, take it easy, and NO lifting. I only need to make it 3 more weeks, so hopefully between the tincture and the rest, we will buy that much time. Of course, I could still go late but that's looking less likely.

Now I am completely panicking at the thought of having this baby in 3 weeks. I AM NOT READY!!!!! The baby clothes are still packed away. I still have to get our room cleaned out and rearranged for baby gear. I have NONE of my birth kit purchased or assembled. And don't even start on my Christmas knitting projects. Unfortunately, we are going to have to buy more than I was intending because there is just not time to do the knitting. I am trying to wrap my head around all of this. It really threw a wrench in my time table.

I Stand in Awe

We have been so blessed this week.

First, Jade has adjusted beautifully to home again. She hasn't asked for the bus or school except for one time when she was mad at me. When it's time for school work, she sits down with Kordell and does the work I ask her to do. My biggest problem is getting her to write on the lines on the paper instead of all willy-nilly across it. Imagine that being my biggest problem. I am absolutely amazed!

Second, an online friend who I have never met in real life blessed us with the money we needed to surrender the cats to the Humane Society. $75 is a ton of money for us right now, and to be blessed in that way was so amazing. The kittens will be surrendered tomorrow. I am praying that we will be able to find/catch/corral Mama Kitty in the morning... she hasn't been around as much lately and is very grumpy.

Third, we got a dishwasher! At last, modern convenience comes to our house. LOL My dad & stepmom had a portable for years, but when they moved this summer the new house had a built-in. So they gave us their portable. We finally got possession of it last Saturday. What a blessing to get a dishwasher at the end of my pregnancy!! Now I will be able to keep up with the kitchen despite feeling terrible.

Fourth, my son can be taught!!! Kordell has been so very helpful the last week with very little attitude. This is a major miracle for my "stubborn buffalo" child. ;-)

Overall, we have been so totally blessed by the Lord lately. Even though we feel tired and sore and sometimes discouraged, God is providing all of these encouragements for us. Blessed be the Lord God Almighty!

Bittersweet Blessings

Yesterday was Jade's last day at school. To call it bittersweet would be an understatement. We've been waiting for this day for a long time. It was a great feeling to know that we were done with busses and lunchboxes. Done with not knowing what her education looks like. That part was very good.

But the actual seperation was very difficult. I went to school during last recess to talk to the teacher and gather her things. When everyone came in, it was time to say good-bye. I started to get a little choked up when she hugged her teacher and all her friends. They all love her so much. I almost totally lost it when she hugged Miss Mindy. Miss Mindy has been her faithful aide for 2 years and they are so good together. Mindy was having a terrible time with it and I heard her sobbing as she left the classroom. I held it together until we got to the truck, then had a little breakdown of my own.

Jade did well. I wasn't sure if she understood what was going on. She said good-bye like she'd see everyone again tomorrow. But she was quiet on the drive home, unusual for her. We had been prepping her at home, reading a social story about saying good-bye and having school at home. But you can never be sure what she understands.

I was prepared for a battle this morning. I was quite sure she would get up at the usual 6:30 and we would have screaming for the next 2 hours or so. But it didn't happen. She slept in until 7:30, got up, had her Crispix, and never said anything about school or the bus. We wrote a letter to her friends at school and read some Bible verses during school time then she went out to play. It has been a calm and blessed morning. Praise the Lord!

The good news from her teacher yesterday... Jade is at a 2nd grade level in reading & math. She reads phonetically too. Woo-hoo! Now I'm just praying for the creativity that she is going to need to stay focused.

It's not about me

I had one of those "Ah-ha" moments last night. You know, those moments when something you already thought you knew comes crashing to the surface again.

Yesterday was busy. I had co-op, ran errands, threw dinner on the table, and ran off to Bible study. It was the first night of a new study, Beth Moore's "Daniel". The first session focused on Babylon and how it relates to today's Western culture. Both are self-absorbed and sinful. The "Babylon Motto" as Beth calls it is found in Isaiah 47:10 "I am and there is none besides me." I sat through the video thinking about how well our family has done throwing off the cloak of culture and trying to live the way God intended.

Then I got home. I was tired. The last 2 days had been brutal. All I wanted was to check my e-mail and crawl in bed. But Ruby wouldn't go to bed. This is not unusual, most nights it takes her an hour to settle down. But this time was different. Instead of the usual defiant "pop-up" routine, she just stood in her doorway and cried pitifully for mama. She hadn't seen me all day. Instead of coming to co-op, she stayed home because she has a little cold. Then I came home and left again without spending any time with her. She just didn't feel good and she needed me.

Though the self wanted to ignore the crying and go to bed, I couldn't do it. I spent about half an hour rocking her to sleep like I used to do. What a blessing that time was. Praise God for gently reminding me that it's not about me, that I still have selfishness in my own heart to deal with. He could have chosen a harsher treatment but instead used my soft, sleepy, sweet little girl.

8 weeks

I ONLY HAVE 8 WEEKS LEFT IN THIS PREGNANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um... Yikes.

Well, at least I got to cross 3 more things off my "Before Baby" Master List today. Today was divide and conquer laundry mountain day. I got behind on my laundry folding back in the middle of the summer, shortly after my surgery. Since then, I've managed to keep up with the laundry... all except the 6-7 baskets sitting in the back room waiting to be folded. But today I had help. In exchange for sewing lessons for her daughter, a good friend came over and folded my laundry backlog. Praise the LORD!!!

As a result of having all the clothes in the house clean, I also had to sort everyone's clothes for the upcoming season, move my dresser to the girl's room so that Ruby & the baby can share it, and move shelves into my closet to hold my clothes. I also sorted all of my clothes into maternity/regular and winter/summer.

After only 9 hours of work (plus making dinner), I have conquered the clothing.

Now I can knit for the next 8 weeks. I told my midwife today that I really needed to be on bedrest so I could get all my Christmas knitting done. She laughed, but couldn't come up with any good reason for that, so I'll have to squeeze it in with everything else. I think I only have 9-10 projects that have to be completed by baby time. Eek.

September in Pictures

I know everyone has been pining for some pictures, so here are a few from last month.

Well, the first one is from today, but the rest are from last month. Here I am, 31 weeks pregnant. It is blazing hot today, thus the tank top and ponytail. I wish it would just be fall already!

Here are Kordell & Ruby working hard at school. Kordell is making a Sumerian cuneiform tablet out of clay and Ruby, well, I think she might hurt me if I try to take her pen away.

Here is Teagan's birthday party. Kordell's cuneiform was a birthday card for Dad, so here they are with the finished work. Unfortunately, it cracked right down the middle when it dried and couldn't be saved. Glad I took a picture. Teagan also got socks for his birthday...they were only 2 weeks late. See them on my other blog. :-)

And here is Ruby with her baby doll, practicing to be a big sister.

Opposition

I knew that it would come sooner or later.

I shared the news about Jade at our autism support group meeting this week. Jade's former & current Speech & Language Pathologist's are all a part of the group. While they kept saying that they supported my decision, they also kept trying to convince me to change my mind. "what about half-days?" they said. "What about just changing the IEP to make things easier on her?" What about this, what about that...

I did my best to describe why we made our decision. There were parts of it they just didn't get. Like the part where I said that our family held to certain standards of behavior and the things she brought home from school didn't fit that. My 6 year old now swears and tells everyone to shutup. She didn't learn that here. And the concept that our family life was more important than what she learns at school. These are women who put in 8-10 hours at work every day... I guess the idea of a functional family life was a bit lost on them. Which is horribly sad.

I guess out of the whole thing, I am just praising God for giving me the backbone to stand up for myself and the grace to not ruin any friendships in the process.

It's Official

Well, the letter to the school is signed and tucked in Jade's backpack. All the paperwork has been filed with the state. Her last day at school will be October 11.

Writing letters to the teacher and aide was a horribly hard thing to do. Gut-wrenching even. These ladies love Jade and they really are great with her. Let me tell you, self-doubt was tearing me up today. Jade got off the bus with this huge smile and was just plain pleasant all evening. I kept saying in my head, "Am I doing the right thing? She seems okay. Was I wrong?" My husband reminded me that our battle is not with flesh & blood, but with principalities and powers. The enemy of our souls does not want us to do what God wants. He will use the tool of doubt if he thinks it will work. And it nearly did.

But it's too late now. The deed is official and almost done. In 10 days, she'll be home again.

Confirmation

I talked to Teagan last night about Jade. Up until then, you all had been the only one in on my thoughts. For some reason, finding the words to speak to my husband wasn't happening.

He had the same conviction on the same day and it had been bothering him as well.

Same message, same day. That, my friends, is a confirmation from the Lord. It was not a knee-jerk reaction to my girl starting kindergarten, or a result of overflowing third trimester hormones. It was a directive.

We both knew before the school year started that she should be at home. We ignored the still small voice because the world kept telling us that this was the best thing for her. Obviously God Almighty disagreed. And now we are reaping the consequences of ignoring what we knew was right.

The decision has been made to bring her home. To do otherwise would be wrong. The timing is yet to be determined, but it will be soon. Teagan wants to avoid Halloween altogether and they start those themed activities at the end of September. I am not sure what the date will be. We need to get some things in place first.

I would be lying if I said I was completely confident. I am SCARED TO DEATH. I despise how hard this will be on Jade. I worry about breaking ties at the school. I wonder if I can do this. But somehow I am beginning to get a Peace about it. I know that God will not lead us where He cannot keep us.

Ratatouille Recipe

Because I think everyone should try my wonderful Ratatouille recipe... (Yes, it is worth wrecking the canner to rescue)

Ratatouille
1 eggplant (med-lg)
2 med. zucchini or summer squash (or combination thereof)
1 onion
2 whole cloves garlic
2 Tbsp. olive oil
3-4 fresh ripe tomatoes, chopped
1 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. basil
1/2 tsp. oregano

Dice eggplant into 1" cubes and slice zucchini into 1/2" rounds. Chop onion coarsely. Saute onion & garlic cloves in olive oil until soft. Stir in eggplant & zucchini; saute a few minutes more. Remove garlic cloves, crush with fork and return to pan. Add tomato & seasonings. Cover & simmer gently 30 minutes or until vegetables are cooked. Uncover and cook off liquid as needed.

**You can also use 1 can (14.5 oz) of Italian diced tomatoes in place of the fresh tomatoes & spices.

When canners attack!!

I did some canning yesterday. I had this great idea to make a quadruple batch of my yummy ratatouille and can it to eat after the baby comes. That way, I can use the overflow of seasonal veggies and stock up for post-baby.

Now, my ratatouille is made from only the finest fresh ingredients. Nothing fake or storebought here. Fresh from the vine (literally) tomatoes, zucchini, eggplant, onion, garlic & basil. It is a thing of beauty. But a quad batch means 4x the chopping. I chopped veggies for over 3 hours. Then you have to cook it. My biggest pan barely holds a double batch. But, I found this big pot at a rummage sale for waterbath canning. 21 quarts, that should hold it. In the big pot it all went. Next problem, being both short and round, I could hardly reach to stir the big tall pot. So I stood on a stool. I wish I'd have thought to have Teagan take a picture. I'm sure I looked quite amusing.

So, finally the ratatouille is cooked. My jars are warmed carefully for hot packing, and with Teagan's help, everything is filled and sealed. Into the pressure cooker they go. You must pressure cook soups, I'm told by people more skilled at this than me. Next, close and lock the pressure cooker. Um... we have a problem.

The pressure cooker had just been fitted with a brand new rubber gasket because the old one wasn't sealing. The new one was, well, chubby compared to the old one. But the gurus at the hardware store said this was THE one. But the lid doesn't want to shut. You have to push it down into place and turn to lock. But this baby won't turn. Twenty minutes later, we ended up using a squeeze clamp from the garage to twist the lid into place. Finally closed, we cooked it for the alloted time and went to bed.

This morning we went to pop the lid off and retrieve the yummies. But, the lid is stuck. STUCK STUCK. We call in reinforcements. Will comes over to help but to no avail. A rubber mallet served only to break off the handles. In the end, it took a prybar to bend the lid away from the cooker. Next step was the Sawz-all, but we didn't need it, thankfully. However the cooker is a total loss. As is the brand new $13 gasket.

The ratatouille somehow survived.

Kindergarten or Kids In The Garden?

So I was at Tanna's today, out in the garden harvesting vegetables to put up for the winter. Ruby was out there with us and I had the most piercing thought enter my mind.

Which is better for my child, Kindergarten or being in the garden??

As a homeschooler who firmly believes in the school of life being the best education, my answer would be in the garden. I watched my little girl, barely 2 years old, helping bring in the harvest alongside us. She was learning life stuff. What each vegetable is, what color they are, where they come from. Carrots come from the ground, but tomatoes grow on vines. Eggplants are purple but zucchini are green. Squash comes in lots of varieties. Chickens like to eat yucky tomatoes. Here she was, being useful and learning and talking and helping - doing things that it took me 27 years to learn to do.

Then I felt the pang. Where was my other daughter? Not in the garden where she had been a couple of weeks ago, learning alongside us. She was in Kindergarten. Held captive by a system we don't believe in, yet willingly sacrificed her to. My mind drifted to an article in this month's The Old Schoolhouse magazine. It was written by a homeschool mom who had attended public school all her life. It was titled "I was raised by wolves". The wolves she referred to weren't just the teachers and the "system", but the students -the peers. The entire thing is set up to drive parents out of the picture. You no longer raise your child. THEY DO.

So here's Jade. She just started kindergarten. She can read at a 1st grade level or higher. She can do addition in her head. She can write sentences. She can count to 100 (at least). She draws 3-D pictures that put my stick people to shame. She gets overwhelmed easily. She gets angry when things are out of order. She gets frustrated when things don't go her way. She has trouble communicating with others. And yet, she makes friends. She shows affection. She prays every night. She memorizes Bible verses.

In some ways, she is way ahead of kindergarten. She was learning fractions tonight as I chopped zucchini. She picks up everything we do and say. She learns.

And yet we send her off. In our minds we justify it. She needs to be with her peers to learn social skills. She needs the routine. She needs the speech therapy. But, she can learn social skills with her siblings and with friends & cousins that we see often. We can build a routine for her. There are ways to get speech therapy now that she's on the children's waiver. The holes in our justifications get a little bigger all the time.

But there is still a conundrum. She likes school. Really, really enjoys it. She likes riding the bus and seeing her friends and having things be the same every day. And I need the time off. Let's be honest, parenting a special child is hard, hard work. But it is my work. And God has called me to it. He gave me this child and nowhere in the Scriptures does it rescind the command of Deuteronomy 6 in cases of autism.

And there are issues with the school she loves so much. When she comes home, she spends the evening zoned out, tantruming, or repeating over and over some song or something that she learned at school. She's never HOME. She used to love our Bible time after dinner. She listened and took great pride in reciting all the verses - even the ones Kordell forgot. Now she sings, and bangs on the table, and does this bizarre echoing herself thing with the verses. It is driving us all batty. She's not there. She's still at school and we are outsiders.

I don't know what the right thing is yet. To pull her out of school willy-nilly would be devastating to her. To homeschool her would be a challenge, to say the least. To abandon her to the wolves is not an option. It seems for the moment, that this year's course is set and deviating from it would not be the best thing.

But still there is a stirring in me that begs for her presence in the garden.

Weeks in Review

The long awaited update with pictures is finally here!

First, Jade's first day of Kindergarten. She could not be more excited about being back in school!!

Next, the kitchen pictures...

Please note the beautiful handmade custom hutch that my husband built, and built out of totally free reclaimed & salvaged wood at that! Talent, I tell you. The man has talent.

The peaches...

And just for fun, look how big our kitties are getting! Still on the fence about their future. Hoping some will just run away. LOL

GTT

I saw my midwife today and had my glucose tolerance test. She does the test with food instead of that orange syrupy stuff, and the blood test is only a finger poke, so not too bad. I tested borderline high though. Which means I'm at risk for gestational diabetes. Instead of a longer blood test like a doctor would do to recheck, I have to test my blood sugar 3 times a day for the next week and see what the results are. I am not looking forward to poking myself. The thought kind of makes my stomach curdle. Please pray that I would get through this and have good results this week. I don't want to do this for the next 3 months, and I don't want GD. :-(

Another short update

I will get a long update done soon! In the meantime...

The kitchen is DONE except for putting the base moulding back on around the new floor. That will be done early next week. Otherwise, the walls, floors & hutch are all completed and the kitchen is officially crossed off the to-do list! I will post pictures soon, very soon...

Here is a picture of me from last week to tide you over. I was 26w4d. Today I had another person ask when I was due and be shocked that it wasn't for another 3 months. Oy.

Peaches are done!

I got the last 13 quarts done today. Not by lunch time, but they are done now. I have a half dozen or so peaches left on the towel, but they are the really bruised ones, so I'm not too worried about it. If they get tossed, they get tossed. My mom arrived this evening for a late dinner and I was still doing peaches. I'm done with peaches!!!!!

In other news, we went to Menards today and bought our floor for the kitchen!! I got a wallpaper border too. The kitchen is going to look SO nice when it's all done! Teagan got my custom hutch all finished and it looks awesome! I NEED to catch up on pics, I know.

1/2 a Bushel down...

1/2 a Bushel to go...

I got 14 quarts out of not quite half the peaches. I have 13 jars left, so the ones that don't fit will become a big ol' crock pot of dessert or something. I do have company coming tomorrow, so it will get eaten. It took 4 hours to do the 14 qts, so that's my mission in the morning. I want to get the peaches done my lunchtime so I can put the kitchen back together after lunch before Mom gets here.

Short Update

Kitchen is painted. Looks good, except for the spots where we used the brush only. Those parts look streaky and will have to be touched up, probably next week when Jade is back in school. She didn't like being restricted from the painting area.

I got a call on Monday that the bushel of peaches I was supposed to get 3 weeks ago had finally come in. Great timing, huh. So I have a bushel of peaches to can tomorrow. There's alot of peaches in a bushel....

Pseudo Moving

It's almost like moving, except you can keep your address!

I feel like every single thing in our house is getting touched, sorted, purged, shuffled, and otherwise manipulated. All at one time.

Friday we went to Grandma's to get the rest of our stuff. I thought there were just a few things. Well, we filled the trailer and the back of the truck. Most of it hasn't been seen in 8 1/2 years or so. So it all had to be sorted. A lot went to Goodwill, but some had to come in the house.

Saturday we had to pick up Kordell's new bed. Sage gave us their spare bed, since there's no room in their new place. So we had to move his half of the bunk upstairs for the girls, move their room around and reassemble it. Then we had to clean Kordell's room (no easy task to be sure) and move in the new bed and rearrange everything to make it fit.

And the kitchen is still half torn apart. All the paneling is off, except for a little piece by the counter. The floor is 3/4 ripped up. All of the stuff in the kitchen is (or will soon be) in boxes so we can paint. I have so much STUFF on my counters, but it doesn't really have a home. So it sits there. But now it has to move. And I have to figure out what to do with it.

Tomorrow is painting day. I wanted to get the floor done Wednesday or Thursday, but Teagan says we won't have the money for it until next week. And my mom is coming to visit on Friday for the weekend, so it will have to be put back together by then and taken back apart next week for the floor. Teagan is working on building the hutch today. The base was mostly done last week, so just the top left to go, and then stain. I'm hoping it will serve as a home for my homeless counter clutter. I have in my head a picture of baskets to organize things, but reality seldom looks like the picture in my head. Oh well, we can try anyway.

When the kitchen is done, the focus moves to my bedroom. We have to move my dresser to the girls room so Ruby & the baby can share that. Ruby's dresser now lives downstairs and will become a changing table/diaper storage area. We have to get shelving for my closet so I have somewhere to put my clothes. And of course, all of my clothes will need to be sorted and stored according to season and maternity status.

Bah humbug. When will I ever have time to knit???

Lost Tooth!

Jade lost her first tooth today!

Well, it's the first one she's lost the old-fashioned way. It has been wiggly for awhile, but it came out this morning. Sorry, no pictures this time. She was making some WIERD faces trying to get used to the missing tooth. LOL

The Joys of Home Ownership

We have been busy around here, now that we are homeowners. There are just some things you can't do when you are renting. Like cut down trees. Teagan & his friend Hank took down the huge apple tree in the front yard this week. It was so messy that it had to go. They also trimmed the big swing tree in the backyard. They took off the huge branch that went all the way to the clothesline. Between the two trees, it completely opened up the backyard. Lots more sunshine, less shade. I prefer shade myself but that's okay. It had to be done. Here are some pictures of how things look now...

We've also been doing some work inside. My "things to do before the baby comes" list did not include taking down trees, but it did include last weekend's project... turning the top of the stairs into a useful linen closet. Up until now, the top of the stairs was piled with totes, boxes, and various junk that didn't have a home. A lot of it was linens. My intention has always been to put a closet in that space, but Teagan didn't feel comfortable doing it as renters. Well, now it is done. He built these great shelves and we went through all the junk and organized & decluttered. Here is the finished product. The bottom shelf has a hanging bar for little girl dresses since they don't have a closet. I'm going to make a curtain to make it pretty, but for now I am perfectly happy with functional.

No Denying

Well, there's no denying it... I'm pregnant. LOL Can't hide this belly! I'm almost 22 weeks. People are always suprised when I say I'm not due until December. Am I really that big??

Ultrasound pics!

Here is a picture of our baby!! Everything is normal! Baby's growth is right on for dates. My uterus is measuring 23 cm but there's no medical reason why. The midwife said I'm probably just stretched out. LOL

Ruby's Kitty

Ruby has claimed Betty as her own. She just adores Betty. Betty is the first kitty Ruby goes after every day. (Poor Betty!) Now that Ruby has figured out how to pick up kittens "by the belly" she carries Betty around the yard with her. Betty even took a bike ride yesterday. :-)


In other news... The week is going okay so far. The girls & I had a lovely afternoon at Tanna's yesterday. I cooked potatoes & kale for everyone over there and after dinner we took a walk in the gardens. The girls helped carry zucchini back to the house. We all came home tired and slept in this morning. :-)

My ultrasound is at 9:00 tomorrow morning. Teagan worked it out so that he can leave camp & come with me. I have to pick him up at 6:30 am, so pray that I can get up on time!! Karyl is going to watch the girls, so that will help a lot too. I will post again tomorrow, hopefully with u/s pics!

On My Own

Teagan & Kordell are off to camp this week! Teagan is a counselor and Kordell is camping. They will be gone until Friday. The camp is just a few miles from here, but feels like the other side of the world!

I am on my own with the girls. Tonight went okay. Ruby was SO tired and crabby that she went to bed early. Jade is headed to bed now. I should be too because these girls don't sleep in.

I'm a little worried about how the week will go for all 5 of us. Kordell got a nasty burn on his leg from the motorcycle last week and I'm hoping he won't hurt it playing games. Teagan is going to be running after munchkins all week and won't take his meds on schedule. I'm alone with the girls (nuff said). And my big ultrasound is on Wednesday in Marshfield. Eek!

I am SO going to need a nap come Saturday!

Ruby's Birthday & updates

We had Ruby's birthday party last Saturday. She turned 2! It was a good party. She had a great time and got lots of loot. Including two baby dolls. I got her a really nice soft doll and Grandma H. got her a plastic baby. Of course she likes Grandma's better. I was really ticked off for about 2 days. Anyway, here are some pics...

In other news... we took the kittens to the Humane Society today and they wouldn't take them. They have a 2 month waiting list for surrenders. Because we fed them, they are legally ours and we have to go through the surrender process. If you call them about a stray and they come pick it up, there's no wait. Funny thing is, I called them while Miss Kitty was still pregnant, BEFORE we fed her, and they said they would send someone out. They never did. I'm a little mad about it. I love all the kitties, and I wish we could keep them all but 6 cats is a lot. No clue what will happen now.

July 4th & Kittens

Just wanted to share a few pictures from the 4th of July, as well as the promised kitten pictures. :-)

Here I am on the 4th. I am 18 weeks pregnant... that's only 4 months or so along. I am already getting big!


Here's Ruby, my little all-American girl. That's Tanna's garden in the background. Ruby loves to be out in the garden & help Noni.

And, here are the kittens!! From left to right: Rocky, Tum-tum, Edgar (blending in with the rug), Hobbes, and Betty. And of course, Miss Kitty being a good mama. They are living on our back porch, eating Kitten Chow and using the litter box. Their final fate is yet to be determined. Ruby loves them, of course, and has tried to strangle them many times. Especially Betty. Poor Betty.

DONE

We are finally homeowners!!

After much messing around with our insane landlords, including but not limited to unkind phone calls and screaming at us that the deal was off AT closing, we are finally DONE with the thing. We closed yesterday. They really took us for every penny, even demanding that we pay our security deposit again or they weren't signing the papers. Our lawyer talked them down to half our security deposit and we only did it because the court case against them would cost more and take more time. We were in the legal right. But we really just wanted these people out of our lives FOREVER. And it was worth the money at that point.

Now that the deal is sealed, we have work planned around here. The kitchen floor needs to be redone and I think while we're at it I want to rip off the poorly-installed half-wall paneling and repaint the kitchen. We're also replacing the ceiling fan because the old one is broken. And I think I'll do matching curtains as well. It's one of the two rooms that didn't get done when we moved in. But I want it to be MINE and clear out the reminders of THOSE people.

In other news, the formerly pregnant kitty that has been hanging around finally brought us the kittens last week. There are 5 of them and they are adorable! I'd post a pic but my batteries are dead. Next time.

Oh yeah, and I had my gall bladder out 3 weeks ago. I'm finally feeling back to normal. The baby made it through surgery just fine and is growing good and strong. I'm having an ultrasound on July 18, and I'm pretty excited about that.

Home again and busy!

Yeah I know, I need to blog more. I've been a little busy though!

We got home last Saturday. Our trip was good, but fast. The time flew by and we were headed north before we knew it. We came home via my grandparents house in Charleston, IL. It was good to see them. We got the last hotel room in Bloomington, and after 2 days in the truck, got home on Saturday.

Who was waiting for us at home? None other than the pregnant kitty. She was still hanging around. Still pregnant as anything. Monday morning she showed up again, but she wasn't pregnant anymore. We still haven't found the kittens, but they're around somewhere. We were going to take her to the humane society on Monday too, but now we have to wait until we find the kittens so we can take them all together. What is up with all these strays adopting us?? Ugh!

Monday we put an offer in on the house. Our landlord wouldn't budge at all on the price, so he's getting what he wants. We need to buy this place. We can't afford to keep renting since he raised our rent. We're too invested in this place to just leave. And all the other houses in the area were $25K+ more than our price range. So he got what he wanted. He had better accept the offer. We should hear back soon.

Tuesday I saw my midwife. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat... 156 beats per minute, nice and healthy. What a relief!

Yesterday Jade got a haircut! Not just a trim either. It was halfway down her back and now it's just past her ears. It looks super cute though! It looks even cuter from the back, but she wasn't cooperating for a picture.


So, that's our update. I will try to blog more, but I can't make any promises. :-)

Meet me in St. Louis, Louie...

We are officially on vacation. We'll be in St. Louis for the next 10 days. So don't try to call my house. LOL

We need a vacation after last week. We had some kind of appointment every day last week. Plus, we had to take the dog back to the Humane Society. He started to be VERY aggressive toward Kordell and Jade and we didn't want them to get hurt. So we had to take him back and that was sad. THEN, a very pregnant kitty showed up at our door and wouldn't leave. We are NOT adopting her. We are just hoping that we won't come home to a litter of kittens. If we do they are all off to a shelter as soon as we get back.

Ruby fell and cut her eye last Tuesday and had her first ER visit. Amazingly, it healed in just a few days and she looks completely normal now! Praise the Lord for His healing power!

Jade had Kindergarten orientation last week. She did SO well. She's ready to move up. It was a neat day for her. We also had a home visit from a lady from the county last week to see about getting Jade some services like respite and special equipment. That went very well and she was quite sure that Jade would qualify this go round. (We were denied 2 years ago, and have no idea why) So pray for that to all go through because that would be a huge help for us.

Also, we were officially presented as members of our new church last Sunday. It was great! :-)

I think that's all for now. Last week was really nutty.

In the name of posterity... and to keep my promise... here is a picture of the dog formerly known as our dog, Buddy.

Just a little update...

Well, we got a dog. His name is Buddy and our 10 month old puppy can look straight onto the table and weighs 71 pounds! We adopted him from the Humane Society last Saturday. I'm sorry I don't have a pic yet. My camera batteries need charged and I keep forgetting. Pregnancy makes me not so bright. Buddy's having a hard time adjusting. I was up with him last night off & on. First he was scared to come in the house, then he started barking and howling when we didn't let him in. Oy. It'll take some time, I'm sure.

And, I think I've found my midwife. She is a neighbor of Tanna's and a long time family friend. I hesitated going to her at first because she's not a Christian, but she is a VERY good midwife and I really haven't found alot of other options. I met with her today and it was very comfortable, so I think we will go with it.

On the pregnant note... I'm finally feeling somewhat better. Much less nausea than before. I'm still horribly tired, but it turns out I'm still a bit anemic, so back on the iron I go. Hopefully that will help.

That's all for now. I will try to get a picture of our puppy up soon. :-)

Ginger anyone?

I tell you, the pregnancy is kicking my butt! I have had nothing but fatigue and nausea all week. Saltine crackers don't even help anymore. I'm so nauseated, I don't even want to eat. Teagan bought me some ginger ale, ginger snaps and crystallized ginger in hopes that it will help. Sometimes it does, sometimes not so much.

So, pray for me. I've got no motivation and I'm getting so behind on the household stuff that it's not even funny. And there's a month left in this trimester. The second trimester should be better, but I have to get there first.

Then again, maybe not...

So, as of the last episode, Teagan had decided that we shouldn't buy the house after all and I was quite upset about it.

Monday a letter arrived in our mailbox from Social Security. Jade's SSI was being dropped completely because we have too many assets (ie. house down payment!). It was almost laughable... the idea that we had too many assets. But the reality is, if we don't buy this house and just sit on that money until.... whatever.... then we won't get that income from Jade's SSI. So, we'd be paying MORE and getting LESS. Not good!

Obviously, there is not an option here. We need to buy this house or go on a spending spree!! Okay, that's not an option either, so we must go ahead with the mortgage plans. Since we finally had all the paperwork in place, we went to the bank yesterday and the application will be filed today. If it goes through, we will save at least $130 a month on housing expenses. That's alot for us. We should hear back within 10 days or so whether it was approved.

Quit shaking my snowglobe!!

Do you ever feel like your life is a snowglobe? You know what I mean. Those little glass bubbles with the fake snow that settles gently to the bottom until someone shakes it up and makes everything start swirling again. My life is most definitely a snowglobe. Just when the little flakes start to settle someone picks it up and shakes the living daylights out of it.

First, I lost my midwife. I thought I would just call up DJ and make an appointment and we'd be good to go. But Wisconsin just passed a law requiring certification for midwives, and DJ isn't certified yet. She will be certified by October-November, but that's a bit late for a early December due date. So, I had to call all over trying to find someone. I found a midwife in Appleton and made an appointment. I got her packet of information today. She is much more medical than DJ, and her fee is $2500... $1800 if you pay in cash before 36 weeks. So, we have to come up with that money somehow. I thought for like a millisecond about just going to the hospital. After all, it's free through MA. But no, I am not going to birth like that. I am still feeling unsettled about the whole matter...that fear of the unknown thing. I am praying for peace about my decision.

Next, my husband decides to wig out. First, he's depressed, which was horrible. Then, he rebounds into a strong leadership role. His first big decision..... are you ready..... are you sure.....




Not getting a mortgage, not buying the house. Staying here, renting and waiting.

And he decides to tell me this on the very day that the final paperwork we needed for the application arrived in the mail. On a day when I also happened to be very exhausted and emotionally drained. Not good.

One minute I think I know what's going on, life is good and things are falling into place. The next minute someone is shaking the living daylights out of my snowglobe.

Easter

Look at those gorgeous children! Aren't they getting so BIG?

We have a winner!

Okay, Shelli got the answer to my riddle, and with only 3 clues! I had more clues to use too. Darn! Okay, to decode the first 3 clues...

Clue #1- 3 past 28... stands for my due date. December 6, 3 days past my 28th birthday.
Clue #2 & 3- a normal pregnancy is 280 days or 40 weeks.

The 40 gave it away. I should have saved that clue for later. Made you all sweat... :-)

So, yes, the answer is, I am pregnant again. I am happy about it, and feeling pretty good. I have morning sickness in the afternoon, but my trusty saltine crackers keep me sane. I am nervous about having another miscarriage, but I trust God. He gives children at the perfect time and sometimes takes them in His perfect time. The taking is hard for us to understand this side of heaven, but it's no excuse to trust Him less.

Clue #3

This one builds off clue 2... put them together like a sentence.

AKA 40

Clue #2

280

280 what? That's for you to figure out.

Let's Play a Game!

Let's play a guessing game. I'll give you clues each day until you figure out the answer. Sound fun? Here we go...

The first clue is....


3 past 28

Shelli... This one's for you

My dear friend Shelli was getting quite tired of looking at my poor kitty everytime she checked in on my blog. She kept calling me and asking me to PLEASE go blog so there is something else to see. I really haven't felt like blogging lately. I haven't felt good, just blah and depressed and I didn't think you all really wanted to hear about it. But, things are happening and I will make an attempt at blogging again. Just not this instant.

So for the time being, I leave you with a happier picture. My big huge girl who is almost 2 and not nearly small enough to be my baby anymore. *sigh*

Goodbye Kitty

Our kitty didn't make it. His leg kept getting worse and he was starting to get really sick. We had to put him to sleep yesterday.

Reality Bites.

What a difference a week makes! A week ago things were going swimmingly. I was on my way to have a weekend away with my husband following a good productive week. Oh the bliss!

We did have a great weekend. The marriage conference was great! We learned so much and our marriage was really strengthened through it. Plus the time away together was just nice. We don't get that very often. It was refreshing. The last session of the conference they warned us that reality was waiting outside and our marriage would be tested as soon as we left. How true, how true.

First came the snow. While we were away in our peaceful little bubble at the hotel, a blizzard was smacking our home. We arrived home to almost a foot of snow. That night we got another 4 inches or so, making about 16 inches of snow to contend with. Reality indeed. Trying to be the good wife and serve my husband, I shoveled out our mailbox. Muscles I forgot I had hurt for the next few days. Oy. Inside the house, I was determined to act on the convictions of the weekend and get things in order. I was doing laundry, cleaning, sorting, etc. By nightfall I was beat.

Tuesday we decided to clean Jade's room. Now, you must understand, her bedroom was buried in clothing, toys, and other junk about 6 inches deep. The whole room. There was no clean floor space. So we went ballistic in there. I did 9 loads of laundry. We picked up and vacuumed and straightened. It looks great now. But have you ever done 9 loads of laundry in one day? Again, I was BEAT by bedtime. Like run over by a mack truck beat.

Also on Tuesday.... The cat came back. We had left him outside while we were gone, not anticipating the blizzard. He's an indoor/outdoor cat and can fend for himself pretty well. So we came home on Sunday and he didn't show up until Tuesday. He arrived at the front door limping and covered in burrs and pickers. We brought him in, cleaned him up, all was well. Wednesday night he came limping downstairs to eat and left a blood trail. Turns out, his hurt leg was infected and had popped open and was oozing all over. We smeared it with garlic oil and threw him outside because we couldn't have him oozing all over the house. Teagan made him a little box bed on the porch to protect him from the weather. We didn't know what else to do. Thursday the swelling was down and the leg wasn't oozy anymore, but he had licked the area into a big sore. So we decided to bandage him up and let him in the house. He was not pleased at the bandaging process, but we thought we would make up for it and let him sleep on our bed. That ungrateful animal promptly went upstairs and peed and pooped on top of our bed. Needless to say, he's not coming back in for a good long time.

So I spent Thursday washing bedding. Ugh. More laundry. Thursday afternoon our landlord calls. He had gotten our letter with offer to purchase and was confused. We made an offer of their asking price minus what we had paid in rent for 2 years, since when we moved in he had said our rent would go toward lowering the purchase price. He was confused, he never said that, it's not what he meant, blah blah blah. He says he can't go more than $2000 below the asking price. I don't believe him. He's playing us. I don't trust him. He should have just counter-offered in writing. But, he doesn't like to put details in writing remember? UGH! I was so mad yesterday. I'm still upset about it. But, we have a plan. We're going to county records to look up this property and see what is on file there. That should be a telling visit. We'll find out if he's telling the truth or just playing us.

Oh, and to round out this lovely week... ANOTHER BLIZZARD! In like a lion indeed. It better be 70 and sunny on March 31.

Busy Week, Good Week

Well, everyone in our house has recovered from last week's illness. And just in time too. We've been quite busy this week.

Tuesday we met with the bank to see about buying the house we are living in now. I've probably got you all confused now, right? Well, the reason we were going to fix the block house and move in there was that we didn't have the money to buy this place. With no income at the time, getting a loan was not going to happen. So, we had to make alternate plans. In the last month our situation has changed dramatically. Teagan was approved for his long-term disability and just yesterday was approved by Social Security! You read that right... no lawyers, no advocates, no appeals, he was approved just like that! Praise be to God!! Needless to say, all of that improves our overall outlook and changes plans. In addition, with Teagan quitting his job, we have gotten the disbursements from profit sharing and 401k. Then I did our taxes and our refund was more than double what I was expecting. Put it all together and we have more than 20% downpayment to buy this house! And our mortgage payment would be 2/3 of our current rent. I say all this not to brag, but to give glory to the LORD for it is only Him providing this for us. Only He could have worked out all these details to come together at the perfect time, just a month before our lease runs out.

Anyway, back to the bank. Our chances look pretty good. Our credit scores were better than expected, and the lady working with us was pretty confident that it could be worked out. We are about to start haggling with our landlords to bring the purchase price down. They said our rent would go to lower the purchase price, but 2 years later they stated the price as the same amount we started with. We didn't get it in writing (our mistake) but we are hoping to bring them down. All in writing of course. Learn from your mistakes!

Yesterday I had Jade's IEP meeting and 3-year review at school. It took 2 1/2 hours! But we got a lot accomplished. Her evaluation gave us an age equivalent in all different areas of development. She ranges everywhere from 1 yr 10 mo to 7 yr 7 mo! Average is around 2 1/2 - 3 years. Her strengths are in fine motor skills. No suprise there. If you've seen her drawings, they are amazing! Reading is a strength as well. Her sight word reading is in the K-1st grade range. But communication is still so hard for her. Anyway, she goes on to Kindergarten in the fall. She will be with her same age peers most of the day, and will have a full-time aide. All in all, the meeting went well. We really have a good team working with her at school. I am confident that they will do all they can to help her succeed.

Tomorrow Teagan & I leave for a weekend ALONE! It's been 6 years since we've gotten away. The kids are going to Noni's house, and all of us are super excited about it. Kordell packed last night. He's ready! LOL

Germ Central

My house in now officially "Germ Central". Kordell came down with the stomach bug today. Teagan is still recovering. Jade & I are okay so far. I think this all started with Ruby. She has had diarrhea for about 5 days now. But she drinks a ton, so other than extra diaper changes and crabiness, she seems okay. I thought maybe she was cutting teeth or something.

I'm praying that I don't get sick. And I'm thankful that no one is throwing up. And I'm really really really praying that all of this will run it's course and be cleared up by next weekend because I want to get away with my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The hotel is booked, and we have been waiting for this for a long time. So pray with me that we can still go!

HGTV in the ER

Whew, that's a lot of letters!

I spent the better part of today in the emergency room with Teagan. He got a stomach bug and got dehydrated, so we had to go get him some IV fluids. He's doing much better now.

I must say the ER rooms are much improved since our last visit. They have TV's in each room now! They pop out of the wall on these swivel arms. Teagan fell asleep for a couple hours, so I watched HGTV. I'm thinking of painting the kids rooms brown. I saw a brown bedroom that they did on one of those decorating shows, and it looked really nice! Plus, the black sharpie wouldn't be nearly so noticable on brown.....

Oh yeah, didn't I mention it? Jade redecorated 3 rooms of my house with black sharpie marker...again. But this time she did it with gusto and no amount of cleaning products is going to undo her masterpiece. I'm thinking some primer and new paint will do the trick...

Ugh. It's really been one of those weeks. Um, happy love day or something like that.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

We just found out that Teagan's long-term disability has been approved!!!! The check's in the mail!!!! Praise God!! His timing is perfect. We just used the last of our money to pay this month's bills. This takes so much pressure off!

Wow!

All I can say is WOW WOW WOW!!

Okay, maybe that's not all. ;-)

We went to a new church today, and I was so impressed. It was a great experience! The people were friendly, the worship was wonderful, the message was good. But most importantly, the breath of God breathed in that church and in those people. It was alive.

We've been going to a dying church for a long time. It used to be alive and thriving, reaching out to others, taking care of its own, being the hands and feet of God in the community. But not anymore. The sad part, it doesn't even know it's dead. I didn't fully realize it until today. Wow, what a difference.

So, needless to say, we will be attending the new church again next week. They have 2 other families (3 children) in the church with autism, and they are happy to work with us regarding Jade. That was such a relief. The "Jade factor" was my biggest fear in finding a new church. But they are really interested in the spiritual health of the autistic child and the family as a whole. It sounds great. We're going to meet with the pastor and find out more, hopefully this week.

I was worried about the change, but I'm so glad we did it. I feel like God led us to this church in particular and I'm praying that we will fit there.

Exciting Morning!

Well, we've had quite the excitment here today! I woke up to Jade trying to leave the house (again). I thwarted her plan and all is well. So, I'm making breakfast, getting my coffee fix, and I look out the window. Suddenly this truck comes flying down the road, spins around, and crashes into the brushy area on the north side of my front yard!! It knocked a couple of smallish trees over, and was stopped by a bigger tree. It was a couple of teenagers, probably late for school. They managed to get themselves out, but not before I took a picture...

Muhahaha! Poor teenagers. They need to slow down and try not to crash in people's lawns...

Teagan said I should call the sheriff just in case, but since no one was hurt they said I didn't need to report it. So that was my excitement today.

The Deed is Done

Teagan officially quit his job yesterday. He is now unemployed. It was the logical next step. He hasn't worked in 7 1/2 months. He won't be going back anytime soon. It was becoming a case of "quit before you get fired". Yes, technically they aren't supposed to fire you for being unable to work due to a disability, but they do. They fired Will, and would have fired Don if he hadn't quit when he did. So Teagan decided to beat them to the punch. This won't affect his long-term disability claim. He's still entitled to that. We technically don't have health insurance now, but are in the process of getting Badger Care. The big benefit is that we will get his profit sharing later this spring and hopefully that will pay for our block house project.

Speaking of the block house... The lower level is empty!! Teagan & Will have been working on the upstairs. Unbelievable as it may be, the upstairs had even more junk than the downstairs, and bigger junk at that! There is a ton of old furniture up there. If the roof hadn't leaked for so many years, it would probably be worth quite a bit, but it's all water damaged and therefore, junk. Why oh why they put all the heavy furniture upstairs we will never know. With no stairs anymore it's a real bear getting it out of there. But they are working on it bit by bit.

In Loving Memory

This post is in loving memory of my child who was born to heaven on December 28, 2006.

It seems the reality of my miscarriage has finally sunk in. At first I didn't really grasp what was happening. I mean, I knew, but it wasn't real. I thought I was doing okay with it. But this week it finally sunk in. I think that Grampa Wallace's funeral was what did it. There was a floral arrangement to symbolize his great-grandchildren who were awaiting him in heaven. Four perfect red roses. One for Shay, one for William, one for Adrian, and one for my baby.

My baby. My baby with no name. My baby that no one even knew about until it was gone. My baby that died only 16 days after being conceived.

Teagan said that God knew my baby's name. I prayed that the Lord might see fit to tell me what it was. That night at Grampa's visitation a family friend walked up to me. She said, "Did you have Sadie Rose picked for a name?" I was taken aback. This woman could not have known about my preganacy or miscarriage. Then she said, "I keep calling Ruby Sadie Rose for some reason. That's wierd." And she walked away. Then it hit me. God was giving me my baby's name.

Sadie Rose Anthony
Born to heaven on Decmber 28, 2 006

The next morning we went to the cemetary for Grampa's burial. He was buried next to the babies' graves. There was Shay's headstone, and William's and Adrian right between them. I didn't even know Adrian had a headstone. That was also a first trimester miscarriage, but they had a burial and a headstone. There was no Sadie Rose. There was no headstone, no memorial, no concrete place to mourn. My baby was flushed down the toilet. There was no recognition of her personhood. There was nothing but an empty womb.

As we leave the cemetary I say to Teagan, "I didn't know Adrian had a headstone." He says, do we need to buy one? No, I say, that wouldn't be right, since there was no burial place. Instead, he came up with the idea of a memorial garden. He will make an ebenezer. An ebenezer is a pile of stones to symbolize what God has done. The Israelites used them many times in the Old Testament. Teagan will make an ebenezer and we will put it in a garden of beautiful flowers outside of our new home. And there we will remember Sadie Rose.

On Modesty and Feminity...

Recently I have been pondering what it means to dress modestly and be feminine. I don't feel that I dress immodestly, but I certainly don't look overly feminine in my standard grubby blue jeans and t-shirt, and even less so in my pajamas (which I wear a little too often). The idea of wearing skirts & dresses instead has been popping up in my brain for awhile now, but I shove it back in the closet of things I don't want to think about. LOL

I've never actually talked to Teagan about it, because I figured it didn't matter to him what I wore. He's always said he loves me just the way I am and all that. Well, silly me, I asked him what he would like to see me wear. I was most suprised by his answer. Skirts and dresses would be nice, he says. Imagine my shock! Imagine my horror! My dislike of skirts is now an issue of submission and pleasing my husband.

Now you must understand, my hatred of feminine clothing is deep seated in my childhood. Being forced into itchy pleated wool skirts, and made to wear dresses for chapel throughout my school days. I raged against the machine whenever I could, looking as sloppy as possible while being within dress code. I rarely wear skirts as an adult because I feel self concious and after all, those things are evil and uncomfortable.

So I am faced with a dilemma. Wear the skirt and please my husband or shove it to the back of the closet and know I'm going against him. So I am wearing the skirt. I know he is pleased and that makes me happy. I picked a rotten time of year for this decision (I freezing!!) but a happy husband is good whatever the season.

The next time you see me, if I'm in a skirt, don't think I lost my marbles or am trying to be "holier than thou". Just know my reasoning and pretend I'm wearing jeans.

Happy New Year!

Okay, so I'm a few days behind. but we've been busy and sick and trying to get back into routine around here.

We got to spend New Year's Eve up north at Crescent Lake Bible Camp with Dad, Karyl, and that side of my family. It was really fun! Teagan got sick on the way there and I got sick when we got home, but otherwise it was a fun time! I apologize to any family members who got sick from us. Sorry!! At least we had fun!

Jade went back to school yesterday and I think she's really liking being back in her routine. Kordell & Teagan went to Dad's this morning, so they're back to their routine too. I'm still trying to get my bearings after the holiday and everything. I'm working on a pair of Valentine longies for my hyena cart, and have some wool play food in the works as well. I really need to start a blog just for all my projects!

Editing to say... visit my project blog at www.divinely-appointed-yarn-thrower.blogspot.com !!! :-)

I hope you all have a great 2007! God Bless!